oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
