but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
