I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
porn star boner night. come get it.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
