im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
