Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
