I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
