Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
