Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
