My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
