peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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