Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
