how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
They took my balls.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
