Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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