my mouth tastes like poor choices
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize