I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
