we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
