high people should be assigned attendants
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
