I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
