Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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