I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
