Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
