Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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