Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(253): View more from Washington

I'm going to rape someone's good day.

Fav 14 4107 1641
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(334): View more from Alabama

She threw up in the hot tub how's your night

Fav 3 954 3380
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(973): View more from New Jersey

now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers

Fav 10 1792 1179
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(802): View more from Vermont

stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes

Fav 16 1069 2351
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(936): View more from Texas

The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.

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(705): View more from Ontario

You sprinted into the side of a parked car

Fav 0 1143 582
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(248): View more from Michigan

PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.

Fav 7 1362 656
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(503): View more from Oregon

Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?

Fav 1 13 50
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(626): View more from California

sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.

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