3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
