Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
