Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
did you just send me my own nude
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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