You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
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