how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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