Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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