I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
