I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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