Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
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