So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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