I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
