just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
