My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
