NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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