SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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