it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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