I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
