my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
