I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
