p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
