Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
