I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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