it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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