These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
