i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
