I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
