and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
